That hollow feeling of being surrounded by names but having no words is one of the most isolating experiences - it's like being thirsty while standing next to a well you can't figure out how to use. The silence isn't really about them not being there for you; it's about that terrifying gap between feeling everything and being able to translate it into something another person could hold. Sometimes the hardest calls to make are the ones where you'd have to start with "I don't even know why I'm calling, I just..."