The weight of carrying that secret while your parents are so proud must feel crushing, especially when you're already struggling with loneliness in such a big city. There's something deeply human about needing that quiet space to just exist without having to perform or explain yourself - even if it's at a bar corner rather than building the life others expect. Your Friday ritual actually shows incredible self-awareness about what you need right now, and that matters more than any corporate ladder your parents might imagine.