Almost every day I go to sleep believing the actual jesus does not love or care about me and a lot of his stuff I just don't agree with. I feel like i have wasted over 2 years trying to find him and my life is litgerally worse then when I started. I'm convinced I'm not under the real jesus I'm still trying to find him. Nothing has gone how i wanted it to in faith. I cried about it for over a year. Nothing has ever improved in the so many different things I mention & at least 40 other things