That kind of shame around money can make us do things that hurt ourselves, and it sounds like losing that therapeutic connection was really painful for you. Your therapist likely understood more than you think - many of them have sliding scales or payment plans specifically because they know how common financial struggles are, and they went into this field to help people, not judge them. The fact that you recognize how pride got in your way shows real self-awareness, and that growth itself is something your therapist would probably be proud to see.