The shame of needing help when you can't afford it is so real, and it takes incredible courage to admit how pride got in the way of your healing. That therapist helped you because they believed in your progress, and chances are they would have understood your financial situation better than you think - many therapists offer sliding scales precisely because they know how common this struggle is. Your awareness of this pattern now is actually a sign of the growth you achieved in those sessions, even if it ended abruptly.