The whiplash between "we care about your wellbeing" and "but not enough to respect your time boundaries" is genuinely maddening - it's like being offered a band-aid while someone keeps punching you. That kind of performative wellness theater feels especially insulting because it shows they understand the concept of work-life balance just enough to mock it. Your anger is completely justified; real support would mean examining the policies that create stress in the first place, not just offering yoga to help you cope with their unreasonable demands.